10 Tips to Increase Sibling Bonding

Why is it that we tell our children over and over that we are to love, respect, and be kind to each other and there’s still fighting . . . over EVERYTHING! Our homes are where we are to practice people skills and practice loving as Jesus loves, but for some reason, it sometimes feels like a war zone. It’s not just my home, right?? We need to realize the importance of sibling relationships as well as how to promote sibling bonding.

Sibling Bonds

We don’t want to be dealing with sibling resentment in our homes, but it’s bound to happen at times. However, it’s important to build those sibling bonds. I have to admit that it’s been a bit over the top lately in our home, so I plan to implement some of the things we’ll be discussing! Learning ways to build relationships among our children will be beneficial both now and in the future.

Importance of sibling relationships

So, why are sibling relationships important? If you have siblings yourself, I’m sure you know how beneficial or detrimental they can be, depending on the relationship. We want to encourage our kids to build great relationships with their siblings that will last all their lives, since that is one of the most enduring relationships. How our kids interact with their siblings can also shape who they’ll become and how they’ll treat others as adults. If you have a mix of genders, they will learn how to interact with the opposite sex. Siblings can become the greatest of friends into adulthood if those relationships are nurtured.

Benefits of sibling relationships

As we’ve seen, encouraging our children to build positive relationships with their siblings is incredibly important. Our children can gain so much from each other, even if they don’t always see past the now. Here are other great benefits of sibling relationships.

Increase sibling bonding pinnable image of 2 sisters and a brother holding hands
  • Increases emotional and physical health, even into adulthood.
  • Built-in love and support no matter what.
  • Gives the opportunity to practice leading and following.
  • Teaches them to deal with criticism.
  • They learn to apologize and not hurt the feelings of others.
  • A source of peace and calm in the home when the relationships are strong.
  • They learn to look out for others besides themselves and learn to receive help from others as well.
  • Helps them learn to share or take turns.
  • Those with great sibling relationships are also found to be more successful in life.

Bible Verses about Siblings

According to the Bible, siblings have a special place in our lives. Your children may not always see this, but it’s important to let them know that they are to build the relationship with their sibling. Friends may come and go, but a brother or sister is such all through life.

Proverbs 17:17

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."   Proverbs 17:17 ESV
Proverbs 17:17 image with a brother and sister in background

There’s nothing like having your brother or sister be there for you in tough times. Likewise, you should be there for your siblings. Show your children what that looks like in real life. This Bible verse about sibling love shows that siblings are there for you no matter what.

Romans 12:10

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."  Romans 12:10

I love that phrase “outdo one another.” This verse is assuming that brothers and sisters love one another, and we should show others that same kind of love and honor.

Ephesians 4:32

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."   Ephesians 4:32

This Bible verse shows us how we are to treat one another, regardless of whether it is a sibling relationship or not. We are to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving, just as Christ is toward us.

Psalm 133:1

"Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!"   Psalm 133:1

Unity is a good thing, especially when it comes to sibling relationships. It can be hard when your children are fighting amongst themselves constantly. Point out to your children how pleasant it is when they are getting along.

1 John 4:21

"And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."   1 John 4:21

You can’t say you love God but not love your brother (or sister). I know this is talking about brothers in Christ, but if your child claims to know Jesus, he needs to learn to love his siblings.

What does the Bible say about the role of a mother? To learn more about being a godly mother, check out these 10 characteristics of a good mother according to the Bible.

How do you Strengthen a Sibling Relationship?

There are many ways that you as the mom can help strengthen the sibling relationships among your children. Talk to your children about the importance of their relationships, and remind them that friends will come and go but family is forever. It doesn’t matter if you have two or ten children, you can help foster the relationships between siblings. They will take their cues from you.

Promote sibling bonding

As you look for ways to strengthen sibling relationships in your home, figure out what will work for you and your family. Sibling bonding time will encourage those relationships as well as learning relationship skills. Below are some things to think about and put into practice to help improve the relationships between your children.

Promote togetherness

Notice and promote activities that get your children playing together, and when they are playing well, try not to interrupt them. Let them build those good memories together.

Team effort

Praise and encourage team efforts. For example, when you’re trying to get ready to go somewhere, motivate your kids with the idea of helping each other get ready. Make it a team effort. The same goes for working on chores or a project.

The bonding hormone

Encourage bonding by releasing the “bonding hormone,” oxytocin. Great ways to do this are laughing, singing, dancing, wrestling, or playing outside together.

Respect one another

Teach good people skills to your children. Instruct them to honor and respect each other. Teach them to communicate well, and have them practice listening skills. Help them work out their issues in a healthy way. Talk to them about the importance of forgiveness and apologizing when necessary.

Promote uniqueness

Point out that God made each person special and unique, and that their sibling’s differences are special. Just because they are annoyed by something their sibling tends to do doesn’t mean they need to react in unkindness.

Share stories

Tell your kids what it was like growing up with your siblings (if you had them). My kids love hearing those stories! Talk about how you worked out differences.

Expect kindness

Our children should be learning kindness to all, especially their siblings. This is a relationship skill that will serve them well in life.

Encourage compassion

Encourage siblings to show compassion for each other. If someone is hurt or sick, show them how they can nurture and help that brother or sister. Teach them to look for ways to help one another.

Respect is huge

Our children need to learn how to respect one another as individuals. Teach them to respect each other’s space, belongings, and time.

Shared interests

Encourage and promote shared interests they may have. Have them spend more time doing those things together. This promotes sibling bonding time together.

Sibling bonding activities

We’ve just discussed some things to encourage, teach, or start with your kids in order to help strengthen their relationships. Now let’s move on to some actual activities to build sibling relationships. If you have other ideas, be sure to let me know in the comments.

  • Set aside time for 2-3 siblings to spend time together doing an activity such as building a fort or playing a game or sport. Shared experiences will help bond your children.
  • Pray together. If you have family devotions or Bible time, have your children pair up with a sibling at times. They can share requests and pray for each other.
  • Assign an older child to help a younger child with schoolwork or a skill they need to learn. For example, your older son could help his younger sister learn to tie her shoe or ride a bike.
  • Have your children learn to take turns vs share. You can set a timer. This makes it more of a cooperative effort.
  • Make chores a team effort by having 2 or more siblings work together to complete the chore.
  • Build family identity by having family traditions, which will bring your whole family together and give shared memories. Maybe you want to go camping with your kids each summer or have a weekly pizza and movie night. There are many options.
  • Start a Kindness Journal. Write down kind things that your family members did for each other and then talk about them.

Relationship Between Siblings

As moms, we don’t want to be in the place where we’re dealing with sibling resentment, but instead, we want to grow and strengthen the sibling relationships among our children. We have seen the importance and benefits those sibling relationships carry even into adulthood. If you are looking for a Bible study resource, I recommend the sibling Bible study from Not Consumed. If you have any other ideas or favorite resources, please let me know in the comments.

You may also enjoy:

How to Make Sure Your Child Feels Loved and Valued

The Importance of Family Traditions

How to Spend Quality Time with Your Child

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