Obviously, when you become a parent to your first child (unless you had twins!), you spend your time with that child. You feed, cuddle and talk or read to them. As they grow you play games, read some more, and care for them. However years pass, and now you have four children…and maybe even another on the way. You’re wondering how to spend quality time with your child…just you and them. There doesn’t seem to be enough of you to spend quality time with each child.
When you have several (or many) children, it can definitely take an effort to find a way to spend time with each child. To be honest, I’m not always great at it, but I have found some little ways to spend some time with each of my children. I’ve also found some ideas for what works for other families, so take the time to read through the different ways you can spend quality time with each child. Just a little extra effort can go a long way!
Benefits of Spending Time with Your Child
Why is it important to spend time with your child? There are several benefits of spending time with your child. It may seem impossible when you have several children, but I assure you that it is not. It just takes a bit more thought and planning. Below are some of the benefits of one on one time with each child.
- Jealousy between siblings is decreased when each child has time with you.
- Your child will be emotionally and physically healthier as they spend time with you, even if it’s with the whole family at dinner.
- You get to know the thoughts and dreams of each child, along with what they enjoy.
- You each enjoy a break from everyday life.
Ways to Spend Quality Time with Each Child
As a mother, how do you spend individual time with each child? What can you do with your child? There are certainly some creative ways to spend a little one on one time with each of your children. Many of these don’t even take much extra of your precious time.
Make each child feel important
Sometimes days, activities, and even children blur into one another. Make sure each child feels special and important. This will take no extra time, but will definitely help your child feel known and loved.
- Make yourself present and available. If they want to talk or share something with you, stop what you’re doing, and truly listen. Ask them questions. Engage.
- Be interested in each child. Talk about when they love. Listen when they’re excited about something. Be responsive to their emotions.
- Ask your child for help with a job, or for their opinion about something. This will help them feel valued.
- Point out when it’s just you and your child. Tell them how much you love being with them.
- Use their name and look them in the eye when talking to them. According to Dale Carnegie, a person’s name is the sweetest word to them.
What does the Bible say about the role of a mother? To learn more about being a godly mother, check out these 10 characteristics of a good mother according to the Bible.
Creative ideas to spend one on one time with your child
Let’s discuss a few ideas that with a little extra effort you can spend time with each child. These ideas may take a bit of extra time, but not too much. However, your children will love that special time with you!
- 15 minutes a day with one child. This could be anytime that works best with your daily routine. Take turns with your children each day. That child gets to choose the activity, although you could have a list to pick from. Examples would be playing a game, reading a book, going for a walk, coloring, or painting their nails.
- Take turns having your children help you cook. This option not only gives you time together, but you are also helping them feel more comfortable in the kitchen. They will learn skills needed later in life. Also, don’t assume that just the girls need to cook. You never know if your sons will need that skill as well.
- Bring one child with you on errands. This may not be an option when all your children are young and your husband is at work all day, but it’s perfect for a quick weekend errand, or when you have a child old enough to watch the younger kids. Take that time to ask your child questions, or for them to ask you questions. Be interested in what they have to say.
- Have them help you with a chore. Pick a child to help you with a chore. They can help you clean the bathroom or dust the furniture. Have a conversation or sing together as you work. You could also make a game of it.
- Pick one day of the week to have a child stay up a little later. On that day, rotate through your children, letting them pick an activity. I would recommend something a bit more interactive like a game, craft, or reading together, but it could also be a movie or show from time to time. You may choose to let them pick a snack as well.
“Big Deal” ways for spending quality time with your child
Some families choose to make a bigger deal of the special time each child spends with a parent. There’s really no right or wrong way to do it. Maybe one of these ways will work great for your family. If so, you can still incorporate some of the above things as well. If the ideas below are too much for you at this season in life, don’t feel bad. These are only ideas.
- Kid of the day. This idea is that each child has a special day that’s “their” day. It could be assigning each child to a day of the week, or you could do a rotating schedule. On this day the child will have extra responsibilities AND privileges. For example, they are the one who helps you fetch a diaper for the baby, helps you prepare lunch, and occupies the toddler while you cook dinner. BUT, they are also the one who gets to go with you to the mailbox or on the errand, gets to go first in picking a snack, chooses the game, etc.
- Kid of the week. This will look similar to the kid of the day, but they will also get to stay up late one night that week. They also get to go on any errands that week, and are the one who gets any firsts or privileges that happen to come up. This will cause a lot less fighting about what’s “fair.”
- Special “date.” What this looks like will depend on your time, finances, and number of children. It could be that each month you or your husband takes one child on a special activity. This could be something simple like going for ice cream, or it could be a bigger deal like dinner and movie, or a big show or game. You may choose to do one date per year for each child. Whatever you do, try to build it up and make it special.
- Monthly “their day.” I read a creative idea where each child had their special day on their birth date. For example, if your son was born July 21, then his day would be every month on the 21st. You could do whatever special thing you wanted from the above ideas. However, I loved that in the above post, the parents also made it a point to share two specific things they loved about that child. They would then pray over that child before bedtime.
I have given you many different options for incorporating one on one time with each child and ways to make each child feel special. As we’ve seen, there are benefits of spending time with your child, so how do you spend quality time with your child? What idea listed above are you most excited to try? Please comment below. We could all use your inputs! Also, I’d really appreciate it if you’d subscribe to my blog and follow me on Pinterest and Facebook.
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