You finally got the last kid to bed and you’re praying no one gets up…again! You’re physically and emotionally exhausted since the kids didn’t seem to listen to you ALL DAY. You lost your temper and yelled at them, and your house has toys and piles of papers everywhere. It feels like you didn’t get anything done besides breaking up arguments, feeding the kids (cereal and string cheese count, right?), and nursing the baby. Your husband is working late, and you hate to tell him there are only leftovers for dinner. You’re feeling like a failure as a mom.
Can I tell you that you are NOT alone? Every mom has bad days and negative experiences. So, Mama…take some deep breaths and wipe away those tears. God’s got this! Let’s get your focus up instead of on what’s going on around you. Let me help you with a game plan to get rid of those feelings of inadequacy and unrealistic expectations. While you may not always have good days, You will have some ways to combat those feelings of failure.
- Lies When You're Feeling Like a Failure as a Mom
- Truths for when you're feeling like a failure as a mom
- Put Truth into Practice
Lies When You’re Feeling Like a Failure as a Mom
Why do I feel like a bad mom? you may be wondering. Well, our minds are complex things. One minute you feel like you’re the best mom and the next you have feelings of failure. You fill your mind with negative self-talk and feel you’ll mess up your kids forever.
In the moments when you have those negative feelings, you need to be reminded of the right thing, which is truth…God’s truth. You’re not a bad mom, but we all do have a sinful nature, including you. It’s good that God has unconditional love for us.
When you feel like a failure, you’re listening to Satan’s lies. He’d like nothing better than to have you feeling like a total failure as a mom. He tells you you’re not doing good enough or you’re not fun enough. He tempts you to feel like you just can’t do it and that everyone else is a perfect mom. These are LIES! 1 Peter 5:8-9 tells us that Satan is prowling around like a lion looking for prey, and that we need to resist him.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV
Truths for when you’re feeling like a failure as a mom
Instead of listening to Satan’s lies, you need to combat the lies with God’s truth. So, what are some ways you can combat the lies with truth when you are feeling like a complete failure? Yes, you may be having a tough day, but let me share some words of encouragement with you.
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1. Combat lies with God’s truth
There are several ways we can combat the lies of the enemy. We need to get God’s truth into our heads and into our hearts instead of the lies that Satan has been telling us. Culture is also throwing lies at us via social media and entertainment. The most important thing you can do is combat those lies with truth. Here are some ways we can do that.
- Read and write down Scripture. God’s Word is the ultimate truth. Find verses that speak truth to you, or even start with some of the verses in this post. Read over them again and again. Write them down. Meditate on them and memorize them.
- Pray. And pray. And pray. We need to be in constant prayer throughout the day. It may feel like a little thing, but God can give us the wisdom we need. Our prayers are powerful!
- Listen to worship and praise music. Hearing this music in the background will help keep our hearts and minds focused upward. It’s hard to lose patience with your child when you were just singing praise to the Lord.
- Read wisdom from others who have been there. Loving the Little Years is a great book to help you keep perspective. Also, if you have the YouVersion Bible app, there is a devotion plan called “Overwhelmed by my Blessings” that is great, written by a mom of seven!
- Journal. Get a cute journal, and write down your thoughts, what God is teaching you, and how you are combatting Satan’s lies with truth.
2. Remember who you are in Christ
The next time you are having a rough day and feeling like a failure as a mom, here are some great Scriptures to remind you who you are in Christ. Find your identity in Christ and not in Satan’s lies. There are definitely more, but these affirmations and verses will get you started. Focus and dwell on these.
- You are loved. God loves us. He loved us even when we were dead in our sins. Ephesians 2 has a great reminder of this.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—” Ephesians 2:4,5
- You are forgiven. Because of Jesus, the debt of sin has already been taken care of. We are forgiven because of what He has done. We only need to ask.
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,” Ephesians 1:7
- You are a new creation. Again, because of what Jesus did, we become a NEW creation when we trust Him for our salvation.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
- You are a work in progress. Yes, you messed up. You’re totally feeling inadequate and like a failure, but God is still doing a great work in you. He is molding you into your best self. How amazing is that??!!
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6
- You are not condemned. This is a powerful truth. Because of Jesus, the sins of our whole life – past, present, and future- have been forgiven.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
What does the Bible say about the role of a mother? To learn more about being a godly mother, check out these 10 characteristics of a good mother according to the Bible.
3. God is consistent when life is overwhelming
Your life may feel like it’s chaotic, overwhelming, and impossible to navigate, but God’s truth reminds you that He is the same. According to Hebrews 13:8, God has been the same since before the world began. He is still the same and will remain the same. He will continue to take good care of you, even if you’re going through a hard season.
4. Keep an Eternal perspective when you feel you’re failing
When you’re drowning in the day-to-day and feeling like you are such a failure, you need to re-focus your perspective. Remember the big picture. You are raising another generation of Christ-followers. Everything you do matters, and you need to do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Yes, you will make mistakes, but put in the hard work of keeping that right perspective.
5. Failure gives you an opportunity to model repentance
We certainly don’t want to fail, but we do. That’s why you’re reading this. We’re all sinners, and when you repent of your sins and ask for forgiveness from God, you also need to ask for your children’s forgiveness. As you do this, you are modeling repentance and forgiveness. As your children grow, they will notice the different things you do to practice what you preach.
6. Know what Biblical motherhood is
Our current culture has a different view of motherhood than we should have as followers of Christ. Memes abound with around-the-clock coffee and “Is it Wine-thirty?” However, God has a different view and a different goal for us as moms. You aren’t to conform to the world’s patterns, but instead, you are to fix your mind on Christ. This is a good way for Him to change you from the inside out.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
7. Motherhood is hard
Just because you had a bad day doesn’t make you the worst mom. It only means that you had a hard time that particular day. Motherhood is so hard. You want to be the best parent, but it requires so much of yourself. Remember that we are models of Christ to our children, and we are responsible for raising them for the Lord. When you think of all you are to do and are responsible for, it is overwhelming! However, at the end of the day, remember that God, the same God who raised Jesus from the dead, has already equipped you to do what He has called you to (Hebrews 13:20,21).
Put Truth into Practice
Today I discussed that you are being lied to by Satan and that you need to combat those lies with truth. I have pointed you in the right direction with different ways to do that and reminded you to keep an eternal perspective. Now, realize that feeling like a failure as a mom is a lie, and that you have God’s grace covering your failures.
The parenting journey is such a process. We have high expectations for ourselves and get frustrated when we mess up. However, with God helping us dwell on positive things, we can turn those thoguhts around. What other lies about yourself do you tend to believe? Which verse are you going to go write down? I’d love to hear your comment!
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