Your dream has come true! You’re now a new mom with a little one to care for. You had pictured this many times as you prepared for your first child, but then something happened you didn’t expect. You started to experience mom loneliness.
Mom loneliness isn’t something that had even been on your mind when you became a mom. You’ve always had friends or been involved with work and other activities. Now you’re home alone with a little one or two . . . all.day.long. Alone.
If social isolation is something you’re experiencing, keep reading. Not only are you not alone, but I have some ways for you to combat it. Don’t worry, Mama! You can overcome this!
Is it Normal to Feel Lonely as a Mother?
I guarantee that you’re not the only one feeling alone as a mom and wife. At least 51% of moms with young children feel isolated. In fact, in a study done in the UK, 90% of moms feel lonely and over half feel more “friendless” than before having children.
I would venture to guess that some feelings of loneliness are dependent on personality, but even introverts enjoy having friends and feeling included. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, a stay-at-home mom, or a work-at-home mom, there can be times of feeling like a lonely mom.
Lonely stay-at-home mom
Stay-at-home moms tend to be more lonely since they don’t have work responsibilities to keep them distracted during the long days. As a stay-at-home mom, you have to put in the effort to not just be home all day, every day, all week long. It takes more effort to build social networks. Lonely stay-at-home moms often can’t wait until their husbands get home so they can have some adult conversation. Can you relate?
How to Combat Mom Loneliness
No matter what type of mom you are, motherhood loneliness can occur. You may be constantly battling it, or you only deal with it occasionally. This doesn’t mean you’re not a good mom. However, if you’re reading this now, you must be looking for some help with loneliness.
Maybe you used to work, but now you’re home while your close friends are still working. Perhaps you’ve recently moved, and you don’t even really know anyone. I’ve been there! That’s why I can help you.
1. Remember your calling
As a mom, you now have a different calling and priorities. You are responsible to raise your child or children for the Lord. This is such an important and rewarding job. In my own experience, this has been huge! As you are able to remember why you’re doing what you’re doing and the importance of it, you are able to find joy in the solitude.
2. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude has so many benefits, including helping you focus on the positive things in your life, which is great for your mental health. As you are thankful for things such as your child, the time you get to spend with him or her, the undeserved love of God, or a much-needed date night, you will have a mindset shift. You will begin to look for more and more things that you are thankful for instead of dwelling on the loneliness. A great first step would be to name three things you are thankful for each day.
3. Get outside
Fresh air and sunshine are immediate mood boosters when you’re having that feeling of loneliness. On a regular basis, try going for a walk or visiting a local park, even for a little time. You never know, you may even make new mom friends!
4. Change your mindset
Don’t allow yourself to stay in a negative spiral, focusing on your loneliness. Instead, choose to make the most of the time you have with your children. Be present with them. Look for ways to foster godly relationships in your life, and spend time meditating on what God says about you and your purpose. Be a blessing to others instead of thinking about yourself.
5. Find a community
Sometimes it can be hard, but finding a community is so worth it! I’ve moved many times in my life, so I’ve learned this from experience. If you’re not already part of a church, find one and join a small group or Bible study. You may even be able to find a MOPS or other similar moms’ group to be your mom tribe.
Another option would be to find a group of women who go walking each day, have a book club, host weekly play dates, or some kind of preschool co-op. By finding a community, you are much less likely to combat mom loneliness since you’ll have the social support that you need.
6. Call someone
Even if you can’t go somewhere to meet a friend or family member, you can give them a phone call. Stay in touch with the friends and family in your life, since this is a great way to combat that feeling of isolation. Besides, old friends will want to hear all about that new baby!
What does the Bible say about the role of a mother? To learn more about being a godly mother, check out these 10 characteristics of a good mother according to the Bible.
7. Turn on music
Okay, it doesn’t have to be music, but listening to music is a great way to lift your spirits. If you listen to Christian music, you will be reminded of God’s strength and help. You could also listen to an encouraging podcast. I’d recommend one geared toward Christian moms for starters, especially for new moms.
8. Serve others
Serving others takes the focus off your sense of loneliness and puts it on others. You may think there’s no way you can serve others right now when your little ones are keeping you so busy, but I assure you that you can. Even something like sending an encouraging note to someone going through a rough time will mean the world to them. Perhaps you can make a meal for a friend who just had a baby or give a ride to someone who needs it. Be open to how God can still use you to serve others, even as a busy mom.
Last, but certainly not least, pray about your feelings. God wants to hear from you. Ask Him for strength to get through the lonely times of new motherhood. Pray for peace and joy in the hard times. Ask Him for help in feeling more thankful when the lonely feelings hit.
No More Mom Loneliness
The bottom line is that motherhood has many challenges and loneliness is one of them. However, the good news is that using these tools will help you combat the mom loneliness that you’re dealing with. Look to God first and then to Christian community. What are some ways you combat mom loneliness? Let me know in the comments.
Also, if you’re feeling lonely, I’d love to encourage you to in your motherhood journey. Be sure to join my email list below or even join my Facebook group, Christian Moms Living on Purpose.
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