We all know we’re supposed to love our husbands and they’re supposed to love us. However, did you realize that it’s also important, maybe even more so, to respect your husband? According to Shaunti Feldhahn in her book For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Loves of Men, a majority of men would rather feel less loved than feel inadequate or disrespected. Let’s learn how to show respect to our husbands.
How to Respect Your Husband Biblically
You may have an amazing marriage and find it easy to show respect to your husband. You may have an amazing marriage and still find it oh so difficult to show your husband you respect him. However, if our marriage has grown apart, we find it all too easy to make critical comments or react in negative ways against our spouse. We focus on all his weaknesses instead of his strengths. This is wrong.
First of all, God tells us that we should respect our husbands, but we’ll get into that in a minute. Showing respect will bring about unity and peace to our marriage relationship and our family life. As stay-at-home moms, we can only do that because our husband is providing for our family. Respect will encourage your husband to continue to support his family and also be who God created him to be, to take his role seriously. We will be showing the love of Christ when we use words of respect and encouragement . . . even if we don’t feel like it.
Respect your husband Bible verses
Ephesians 5:22-33 is a common Bible passage dealing with marriage. I encourage you to read the whole passage, but let’s look at the last verse since it is the one that specifically tells us to respect our husbands. I do realize that our husbands are supposed to love us, but our respect shouldn’t hinge on that.
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 ESV
According to Scott Mean, respect is the attitude that drives the action of submission. Even if you want to focus on loving your husband, if you follow the “love chapter” of the Bible, you will be showing respectful actions and attitudes. For example, if you’re patient and kind and not selfish and rude, you’re showing respect.
Now, this next passage talks about looking out for the well-being of our husband. He can trust you to do him good.
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
Both Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10:8 talk about how we are to be joined with our husband as one flesh. This is a great example of how we are to portray unity in our marriage. Also, as mentioned above, we are the representation of Christ to the world. This next verse is a great reminder of that. Let your light shine!
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
When a man feels disrespected
A great way to love, build up, and encourage our husband is to be respectful in our words and actions. Yes, I know that we all mess up sometimes, but thankfully there’s forgiveness! However, what happens if our husband is constantly feeling put down and disrespected?
Here are some signals that your husband is feeling disrespected:
- He gets angry. Anger in men is often a sign of feeling disrespected. Be conscientious if this is the case for your husband.
- He doesn’t feel heard or appreciated.
- He doesn’t feel loved.
- He feels you don’t give him much time and attention. You don’t listen to him.
- He feels insecure and in need of affirmation.
- He says you complain about everything. (Ouch!)
- He feels you don’t trust his decisions and leadership. You’re always pushing for a “better” way.
What does the Bible say about the role of a mother? To learn more about being a godly mother, check out these 10 characteristics of a good mother according to the Bible.
How do you show Respect in Marriage?
Obviously, if the above signals are true for your husband, there is some work to be done in the respect department. Your marriage is important, so therefore respecting your husband is important. You can show respect in both your words and actions. Let’s talk about how to show your husband respect.
Words of respect to your husband
There are some ways we can show respect in our communication with our husbands. We can also show respect in how we talk about our husbands to others, including our children. Never criticize. We shouldn’t be constantly putting him down and complaining about him. Talk about his strengths or what you appreciate instead. Throughout the day, we can also sprinkle in encouraging and positive words. Maybe send him a text right now with one of these.
- “I really appreciate you.”
- “You’re such a great dad!”
- “You have such great ideas!”
- “I feel so safe in your arms.”
- “I love watching you interact with our children.”
- “You inspire me to be a better woman.”
- “You really know how to make me laugh.”
- “I appreciate you working so hard to provide for us.”
- “You will always have my heart.”
- “Thank you for caring about me and how I feel.”
Basically, you will want to praise him for any positive you can think of. Speak encouraging words to your husband. Let him know you believe in him and trust in him. Tell him you find him attractive. Even if your marriage is in a rough place and you can only think of two or three things, say them. Anyone, including our husbands, will respond to positive affirmations . . . and then you will have more positives to point out!
How to respect a man
Our words can go a long way in showing our husbands respect, but there are things we can do as well. We can use our actions to show respect as well.
- Respect his judgment and go along with it. Let him lead.
- Trust that he has abilities and talents. He doesn’t need you to do or think everything for him.
- Don’t make assumptions that he can’t take care of something, even if he didn’t. That may not be his priority. He doesn’t need constant reminders. He’s a grown man and needs you to believe in him.
- Ask him for advice and respect his opinion. Show him that his thoughts matter.
- Be interested in his work and encourage him in his abilities. Your support in this area will help him immensely.
- Be supportive of his goals and dreams in life.
- Give him your full attention when you are listening to him.
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How are you doing in the respect department? What will you do today to help your husband feel more respected? What are some ways you show your husband respect? Please comment below. Also, let me know if you have other great ways of showing respect.