by Lissa Figgins
Hey Busy Mom…If I were to ask you, “How’s life lately?”… what word would come out of your mouth?
Chances are, you’d say some form of BUSY.
“Busy, Busy, Busy.”
“Oh, just staying busy.”
If that’s you, I want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE….most moms can totally relate, and I even said that word often at one point too.
That’s why I want to share how to find time for yourself as a mom.
What Happens When a Mom Never Gets a Break?
So the more I hear it, the more I get to thinking…
- Is BUSY normal? SADLY YES…it’s become the norm, and even worn as a badge of honor.
- Is BUSY sustainable? NOT REALLY…but we still try to keep up with this pace of life.
- Is BUSY what God intended? NOT AT ALL…He invites us to come to Him for rest.
But while an UN-BUSY life with free time sounds amazing and all…it may not seem doable when there’s always someone or something needing your attention- a family to care for, a friend to support, work to do, money to manage, a community to serve, household chores to do, a needed trip to the grocery store…and let’s be honest, who even has time in their busy schedule for quiet time with God, basic self-care, date night with your hubby, a much-needed rest or time doing something YOU enjoy?
That’s because it’s easy to let our plates get full with all the TIONS- EXPECTATIONS of others, OBLIGATIONS of ourselves and DISTRACTIONS of the world.
No wonder you feel like you NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME.
It’s not that we DON’T have time- it’s that we often underestimate how much time we give away to LESS IMPORTANT THINGS (just look at the screen time number on your phone for a reality check!)
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Eph 5:15-16 (ESV)
Any busy moms out there saying AMEN to having some difficult days?
Why is it important for moms to have a break?
We all have difficult days, hours, minutes, and moments. But as Christians who have been REDEEMED (bought back) by Christ, the way we view and use our time should look different from the rest of the world.
“We are commanded to be time REDEEMERS, those who reclaim our time from useless pursuits and employ it to the glory of God.”
This may all sound good in theory, but let’s be honest- as moms in any stage of life, it’s a struggle FINDING the TIME to get alone with the Lord, let alone finding time with your own thoughts.
And if you think once the kids go to school, or start driving or head off to college, life will get less busy and you’ll have more personal time…as an empty-nester, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t.
Cuz your BUSYNESS is not actually a time or life-stage issue…it’s a HEART issue.
That’s why the solution to your BUSYNESS is NOT found in ordering your calendar, great time management, or to-do list, it’s found in ordering your HEART around who you are + whose you are.
And that only comes from SLOWING the pace of your body, mind, and soul.
So instead of waiting to FIND-the-TIME while you’re doing ALL-the-THINGS (like I said, you’ll never get there)…
…let me share the HOW.
How to Find Time For Yourself as a Mom
Now that you see what happens if you don’t take a break and why that’s important, what do you actually need to do?
How do I find time for myself?
1. You need to MAKE-the-TIME.
When I say this to busy moms, I often get one of two responses-
Either FRUSTRATION. I hardly even have time to go to the bathroom, so how in the world can I find time for me?
Or mom GUILT. I feel selfish when I take time for myself, so isn’t it my job to serve all those around me and not just me?
Let’s address this…
First of all, you always FIND the TIME for what matters.
Think back to before you were a mom. Chances are, you were not sitting around twiddling your thumbs thinking, “I should bring something into my life that will consume my time, thoughts and money 24/7 for the next 18 years”…but when that new baby was placed in your arms, you FOUND the TIME, right?
So decide that MAKING TIME for yourself MATTERS.
And second, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Imagine it’s a hot summer day and one of your kids comes inside desperately needing a drink…no matter how much you want to fill their cup, you can’t if you didn’t take the time to fill your cup (or pitcher in this case)…wouldn’t that actually be selfish?
FILL YOUR CUP first so you can POUR OUT where you’re called.
Ok, so now that you know WHY making time for yourself matters, you may be asking…WHEN + HOW?
2. THE WHEN- Refill every morning and evening.
Think about how often you need to fill your water bottle if you want to have water to sustain you throughout the day.
Depending on your stage of life with kids, 5 min may be the amount of time you can carve out right now. Good- use that time to refill your body, mind, and spirit.
Or maybe you’re nearing an empty nest, where an hour or more each morning is possible. Great- use that time to refill your body, mind, and soul.
When you fill up BEFORE pouring out, you’ll have more to give.
3. THE HOW- Refill with what fills you up.
Think about what activities are life-giving and which are life-sucking (hint: scrolling social media and binging are just numbing, not filling). Also, life-sucking activities will waste a lot of time.
Depending on your physical health, emotional health, and spiritual needs in this season, what you do during this time can vary. How can you move in your body? How can you engage in your mind? How can you connect with God in your spirit? Take time to explore what you used to do or wish you could do…
It may be just being quiet. Or alone time reading a Scripture. Or listening to a worship song. Or reading a book. Or listening to a podcast. Or reading a blog. Or writing in a journal. Or simple stretches and strengthening. Or going for a walk. Or a cup of coffee. Or slowing down your breathing…
Set some boundaries and choose what REFILLS YOU and do those things in this time.
Now, pinky promise me no more excuses of
“If I had time”
“When I have time”
“I’m too busy”…
Jesus invites BUSY Moms like you to make time for yourself to FILL UP with Him…
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29
Will you say YES to His invitation? I pray you do.
Still not sure you should or how you would?
No worries. I’ve got a gift to give you the PERMISSION + DIRECTION in my free Fill Your Cup First Guide with Coaching Video + Worksheet.
As a midlife woman and entrepreneur, Lissa Figgins has a lot on her plate- she’s a wife, empty-nest mom, life coach, podcaster, women’s ministry leader, mentor and friend. As a Christian Time Management Coach, Priorities Protector, and Recovering Should-do list Girl, she’s the Founder of REDEEM Her Time Coaching and the host of the REDEEM Her Time Podcast. Lissa’s mission is to inspire & equip busy Christian Women to go from Busyness to Fruitfulness in Midlife + Business. And what she loves most is helping women like you discover God really has given you an abundance of time for what you’re called to.
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